Cicada Invasion!

Last night, I was reading in bed and my eyelids seemed to be made of concrete so I decided to take Belle out one last time and hang it up for the night.  She peed and we came back in, only we weren't alone...

A cicada flew in behind us, attracted by the kitchen light.  It chirped obnoxiously and flew circles around the chandelier.  Felix lept up from the floor and staked out the kitchen table, swiping at the cicada when it came into range.  Meanwhile, Belle's also got her eye on the hissing vermin and trotting around the kitchen table, not taking her eyes off it.

Felix managed to bring the cicada down but didn't do anything with it after that, to my dismay.  It wobbled back into the air and continued chirping and crashing into the light.  I grabbed a broom and hit the cicada out of the hair like it was a tennis ball and I was one of today's current tennis players, not Pete Sampras like I originally planned on writing.

It bounced off the wall and landed on the floor, right in the gab between the floor and where the trip used to be.  I swept it out of the crack  and it chirped on the floor.  After Belle had her sniff, I swept it outside, preventing my house from being infested by insectoid vermin while I slept.

Kinda sucked

So, right after we watched a Season 3 episode of Breaking Bad, Brittany prepared to leave for work and I prepared to take the dogs for a walk on what was probably the hottest day of the year.  We passed a house with a man working on the roof and I thought, "Man, it would suck to be working out in this heat."

The dogs performed admirably on the walk, due to the intense heat and humidity and also that they were still recovering from a Saturday romp at my parents'.  We returned to the house and the garage door was closed.  I thought "It would suck if Brittany locked us out."

Yadda yadda yadda, she did.  After checking the basement door, I walked to the one neighbor whom I thought might still have my back door key from the days when my parents owned the house.  She wasn't home.  I walked around the house, panting dogs in tow, and checked all the windows.  All locked.  And my cell phone was on the kitchen table, right next to my keys.

As I cursed and tried to decide which neighbor I'd impose on to call my dad.  Then I remembered I felt a draft next to one of the basement windows a couple days before.  I walked up to the unattached garage and it was blessedly unlocked.  I procured a screwdriver and walked back to the basement window, dogs still in tow.

After some amateur breaking and entering, I popped the screen out and slid the window open.  Daisy, still leery of me after living in my house for almost three months and knowing me for about a year, was surprisingly understanding.  I said "I know you're not going to like this but I'm going to pick you up now.  She didn't struggle and let me carry her into the darkness of the basement.

Belle, my faithful hound of nearly 13 years, was almost as understanding.  She stood at the open window and looked at me.  "Belle, this is our house.  I'm going to pick you up now."  She yielded but wasn't happy about it.  Soon, we were all navigating the Stygian darkness of the basement.  I don't think Belle quite understood where we were until we reached the basement steps.  Soon, we were again in the welcoming light of the main floor of the house and all was well with the world.  I gave the dogs treats and they were soon napping in front of the air conditioning vents on the living room floor.

Bands I've seen live

Bands I've seen live (This is a very ska-heavy list)

1. The Toasters
2. The Secretaries
3. Isaac Green and the Skalars
4. Skavoovie and the Epitones
5. Let's Go Bowling
6. Unsteady
7. The Skatalites
8. The Slackers
9. Chris Murray
10. The Suicide Machines
11. AFI
12. Avail
13. Apocalypse Hoboken
14. Assorted Jelly Beans
15. The Weaker Thans
16. The Specials
17. They Might Be Giants
18. The Reverend Horton Heat
19. Los Straitjackets
20. Southern Culture on the Skids
21. Deke Dickerson
22. Big Sandy and the Fly-Rite Boys
23. Eastern Standard Time
24. The Green Room Rockers
25. The Aggrolites
26. Mr. T-Bone
27. Dr. Ring-Ding
28. Monkey
29. Toots and the Maytals
30. Flogging Molly
31. The Pinstripes
32. Deals Gone Bad
33. The Pietasters
34. Split Lip Rayfield
35. Bonerama
36. The Gadjits
37. Mephaskapheles
38. Red Stripe Allstars
39. Murder City Players
40. The Pinstripes
41. Dan Pothast
42. MU-330
43. Lawrence Arms
44. Alkaline Trio
45. Dale Watson
46. Spring-Heeled Jack
47. Th' Legendary Shack Shakers

Huh, I guess I haven't seen that many bands live.  It felt like more than this but there are a lot of multiples on the list.  I've seen the Slackers 20 times and a few of the other bands four or five times.  There are some smaller bands whose names I either don't remember or don't care to mention.

The Writing Bug

The writing bug has been gnawing at my brainstem for the past couple weeks.

I have a character I want to use and the world he inhabits but I can't decide what story to tell with him.  I love the idea of a world resembling Edwardian England, complete with British Empire, but with magic.  And an air force of magically enhanced aerostats.

I'm also long overdue to start revising Between Hell and a Hard Place.  Too bad reading is way easier than writing.

The World is Mine! 3 properties I'd like to see licensed for Kindle Worlds

With Amazon's announcement of Kindle Worlds, their licensed fan fiction platform, I couldn't help but think of several properties I'd like to write for if the author licensed his creations.

1. Philip Jose Farmer's World of Tiers:  PJF's universe lends itself to all kinds of adventure possibilities.  Even apart from the World of Tiers itself, all of the pocket universes created by the Thoans would be fair game.  Jadawin and Kickaha have had lots of adventures not chronicled in the series' six books (I'm not counting Red Orc's Rage) and PJF liked telling stories using other people's creations.  I think he'd be down for this if he were still among the living.
2. Spelljammer - This extinct Dungeons and Dragons setting has long captured my imagination.  I'd love to write a story of magic-powered wooden sailing ships flying in the space between worlds encountering all manner of strangeness.  Also, It's been too long since Giant Space Hamsters gnawed there way through pages of rollicking adventure!
3. The Dark Tower - First off, the Dark Tower is my favorite epic of all time.  So why would I want anyone, even me, dipping their big toe in the waters?  Simple: Roland has been through countless iterations of his quest, each one ending in failure.  This gives the setting the ultimate get out of jail free card in regard to continuity.  Roland missing a leg?  That was a different iteration of the quest.

Announcements

I am now on the Twitter.  My handle is @DanSchwent.  Dantastic and everything else I tried was taken.

1. For most of June, I'm interviewing the Forbes 25 reviewers from Goodreads (or reasonable substitutes.)  Check it out at Shelf Inflicted.
2. I've discovered I'm a book hoarder rather than a book collector so I'm cleaning house!  I got rid of over 100 books yesterday and I'll be doing the same thing again in a couple weeks.
3. The phrase "Kill the boy so the man might live" from Game of Thrones keeps resonating in my brain.  Consequently, I'm trimming the fat as far as possessions go.  My gf and I will be living together fairly soon and I need to clear the way before I roll out the red carpet.

On a parting note, here are some recent pictures:

When did I get so old?

Yesterday, I did quite a bit of yardwork at my lovely girlfriend's house.  I put a rock wall I tore apart last week back together, mowed, and then tore down a ton of honeysuckle.  Today, I woke up and felt about 90 years old.  My office job has softened me up like veal. 

How did I let this happen?  I used to lift weights every day.  I've been slacking the last few weeks but that shouldn't make me less resilient than the average kindergartener.  After lounging around most of the day, I feel like I'm about 60.  Hopefully I'll be back to normal tomorrow.