Actual dialog from work about Muammar Qaddafi

Adrienne: Has it been confirmed that Qaddafi is dead?

Joe: It doesn't matter.  I'm pretty sure I'm not in his will.

Me: I know I'm not.  He's still mad at me for that time I tracked mud on his nice new carpets.

Joe: He never forgave me for that time I was picking up his neighbor's daughter for a date and kept honking my horn.  He didn't like the honking at all.

A Few Things I Don't Understand

1. Why do people call it a hot water heater?  It's a water heater.  The "heat" implies the "hot".  There's no such thing as a cold water heater.
2. What's with people leaving five seconds on the microwave clock and walking away?  How hard is it to let the last five seconds tick away?  Or, if it's the beep at the end you're afraid of, clear the remaining time as a courtesy to the next user.
3. Why do people feel the need to dog-ear the corners of pages of books that aren't their's?  Do they not have a piece of paper in their house?
4. Peanut Butter in the fridge?  Completely unnecessary.
5. Whenever I notice people playing with their phones during every spare moment, it gives me pause.  What did these people do to avoid their own thoughts before cellphones became so prevalent?

That's all I have at the moment.  I'm sure I'll run into a few other things I don't understand at some point in the future.

Angry Wisdom from Dangerous Dan

Every once in a while, I feel compelled to share some of the wisdom I've accumulated over the years.

1. Hallways are not good places to have conversations.
2. Doorways - Also not a good place to have a conversation.  Specifically the doorway in front of the men's room.
3. If you don't use your turn signal, you're a liar.
4. If your turn signal is on and you're not turning, you're a dangerous liar.
5. Blue tooth earpieces are not fashion accessories
6. No matter how cool you think you look when you bring your laptop into a restaurant or coffee shop, everyone else thinks you're a douche.
7. If you're having dinner with someone and ignore them to text someone else, you deserve to injest the spit in your food that mysteriously arrived there while you were neglecting your dinner companion.

This has been the first installment of Angry Wisdom with Dangerous Dan.  We'll now return to your regularly scheduled programming.