If you gave a leprechaun that much sedative, it would kill him! - My Day at Bouchercon

The day started a bit rocky.  I slept hard due to it being so cool in my house.  It took forever to get moving and Belle wasn't very cooperative.  I ended up leaving the house at 8:45 instead of 8 because a neighbor dog got loose and caused Belle and I to have to take an alternate route through the neighborhood.

I met my Goodreads compadre Kemper at the registration counter at the hotel.  I was slightly disappointed that he wasn't in fact a pistol-packin' monkey in a suit like his most popular Goodreads avatar.  Our meeting was a lot like this:



Or this:




Not sure which of the Blues Brothers I would be but I'm definitely Boba Fett in the second scenario.  The original version, not the post-prequels crap.


Anyway, I went to the registration desk and registered for the day.  The woman said it would cost $75 for a day pass until I showed her the special badge Goodreads issued me for being in the top 50 of all time (this may not have actually happened).  She waived me on through and saddled me with a bag containing roughly 300 pounds of books.  Kemper was kind enough to walk with me as I lugged them back to the parking garage to avoid carrying them around all day.


Once we were back at the convention, we went upstairs to the book room and Kemper got three books signed by the sultry Christa Faust, who complemented me on my Hardcase t-shirt.  It was around that time Kemper asked me if I was going to have anything signed.  I said something about not really being into having books signed by authors.  I'm mentioning this now since it will be pertinent later.


Next, we took in a panel on crime capers.  Since none of the writers on the panel actually wrote capers, it wasn't that great of a listening experience.  Except for Eoin Colfer.  You know, the Artemis Fowl guy?  Colfer was hilarious!  Here are some of the things he said:

• On research:  "A medical doctor once jumped up during an interview about Artemis Fowl and said "If you gave a leprechaun that much sedative, it would kill him!"
• On writing a book for the adult market: "I told me wife I was writing a book for big grown up people.  She said 'We just call them novels.'"
• He also talked about inventing a town in New Jersey so he wouldn't have to research it.

Colfer was so funny that I went back to the book room and snapped up his new one, Plugged.  Again, Kemper asked if I was going to get it signed.  Again, I indicated that I wasn't really interested.

The next panels weren't anything either of us were particularly interested in so we hoofed it down to an Irish pub for lunch.  We talked about the Dark Tower and Matthew Scudder while downing brews, then had the Shepherd's Pie.  When the food came, I told him that I was one of the world's fastest eaters and that he probably wouldn't hear much from me until I was done eating.

The Pie was okay but the gravy tasted fake.  I was mainly trying to soak up the three beers that accompanied it.  FYI, I'm getting too old to have three beers with lunch and still be functioning at top capacity for the rest of the day.

We returned to the hotel and had a good sit while our bodies processed food and alcohol.  Several people commented on my Hardcase tshirt.  One guy even asked if I worked for them.  We went through the book room again as I was really wanting to find some Black Lizard paperbacks with photo covers.  I didn't find any but I did find a Megan Abbott book.  When I went to pay, the owner asked if it was signed.  I flipped through it to see if it was signed.  It wasn't.  The owner said "That bitch!" and asked if I wanted it signed.  I shrugged my shoulders.  He called Megan Abbott over anyway and she signed my book Megan "The Bitch" Abbott.  It was pretty funny.  She also liked my shirt, btw.

A quick side note, the same Kindle and pair of glasses was sitting on a table with no owner for at least two hours and it was still there when I left.

Anyway, the final event of the evening was an interview with Robert Crais.  Crais was funny as hell and his interview was both entertaining and informative.  He talked about winning a Marvel No-Prize when he was a kid and then having Stan Lee sign it when he worked on the Spider-Man live action show.  He also talked about selling his comic collection to raise money for a writing class, and went into his writing process. 

But the most memorable part of his interview was when the interviewer asked him who would win if Jack Reacher fought Joe Pike and that Child said Reacher would annihilate Joe Pike and that Child said Crais agreed with him.  Crais simply said "Jack Reacher would be Joe Pike's bitch!"  The crowd loved it.  Aside from a woman suggesting Steven Segal play Joe Pike and getting booed out of the building, that was pretty much it.  Crais was a class act and I'll definitely be giving him another read.

From there, Kemper and I left the hotel and went our separate ways, him to the Russian Roulette game he was excited about watching and me to navigate the labrynthine streets of St. Louis and go home.  It was a fun time.

In other news, I've been awarded the Versatile Blogger award by the talented and frighteningly organized Hildred Billings.  I will deal with all that entails tomorrow, when I'm not so tired and hungry.

New to Me Author Month and some other crap

A friend of mine on Goodreads announced that he was going to spend October only reading horror authors he'd never read before.  I broadened the scope to all genres and dug through my slowly-shrinking to-read pile.  I hereby proclaim October to be "New to Me Author Month!" 

Here's what I intend to read.  If I somehow get through all of them before October is over, I'll just have to buy a couple more books:

1. Rendezvous with Rama by Arthur C. Clarke
2. The Quantum Thief by Hannu Rajaniemi
3. Meat Puppet Cabaret by Steve Beard
4. The Ammonite Violin by Caitlin R. Kiernan
5. Farthing by Jo Walton
6. Hiero's Journey by Sterling E. Lanier
7. The Backwoods by Edward Lee

Once October is over, my reading life will go into semi-hibernation as I take on the NaNoWriMo Juggernaut.  Still no concrete ideas about what I'm going to write although a steampunk story is sounding better every day.  Possibly a steampunk expedition to the moon or something.  Or a weird western.  Or something with a werefox.  Or...

I'm taking off work and going to BoucherCon tomorrow to meet one of my Goodreads friends and hobnob with crime and mystery writers.  Should be a fun time.  I plan to take pictures and present a semi-factual account of events upon my return.

My visit to the car dealership: Expectations versus Reality

I went to the car dealership after work to get my car looked at after the check engine light came on last night.

Expectation (in this fantasy version, the guy at the dealership is played by John Cleese, ca. 1971):
"What seems to be the problem?" Cleese asked.
"Well, my check engine light came on last night."
"Fantastic.  Kindly hand over the contents of your wallet and proceed to the waiting room.  Someone will be around to forcibly sodomize you when you least expect it."
"Great.  Can I at least read until the rapist arrives?"
"No."

Reality:
"What seems to be the problem?" the mullet-sporting mechanic asked.
"Well, my check engine light came on last night."
"Go have a seat in the waiting room and have a free soda or something.  We'll take a look at it in a jiffy."
I went into the waiting room where there were six other people.  Only ONE of them was playing on his phone.  The rest were reading physical books.  I devoured a banana and drank a cup of coffee, a bottle of water, and a bottle of Sunny Delight as I read, determined to win some of my money back. 
70 pages of The Voice of the Whirlwind later, the mechanic arrives.
"Looks like a rock flew up and broke a couple wires.  That's why the check engine light came on.
"How much is that going to cost?"
"About thirty bucks plus labor."
"I can definitely handle that."

There you have it.  There were no significant financial losses and I spent 90 minutes reading that I probably would have spent doing housework.  I should go buy some lottery tickets.

But I love not having a car payment!

Last Tuesday, my car hit the 200,000 mile mark.  This morning, the check engine light came on.  Now, I know it might not be anything big but I have a feeling a new car is on the horizon.  But I love not having a car payment, damn it!  That $250-350 a month can buy a lot of booze and books!  More updates after I take my car in for an examination after work.

I always feel like I'm in the waiting room at a doctor's office when I get my car worked on.

So.... Itchy!

Apparently Belle picked up a few seed ticks herself in the woods yesterday.  I learned this on her second or third circuit of her favorite sleeping spots last night.  Every time, I woke to the sound of the jingling of the tag on her collar or the click of her claws on the tile floor.  Now that I think about it, I could have taken her collar off to reduce noise.

Suffice to say, neither of us got a good night sleep.  Belle's having a nap at the moment.  I'm guessing the tick stuff I put on her yesterday finally kicked in.  A shame that didn't happen during the eight or nine hours of her trying to get comfortable last night.

To sum up, I'm tired and irritable today.  I'm hoping to finish the rest of the Wind-Up Bird Chronicle today but we'll see how it goes.  I may have to take a couple naps instead if I'm to make it to my regular bed time.

Additional:  I'm attempting to grow a goatee for the first time in almost twelve years.  If there's as much gray in it as I suspect, the experiment won't last very long.

Saturday afternoon already?

Where the hell does the time go?  It seems like I was just skulking around the neighbor's yard looking for lost car keys.

The day started off on the wrong foot when I woke up at 7 instead of 6.   I'd fully intended on reading more of The Wind-Up Bird Chonicle while leisurely drinking my coffee this morning.  It was not to be.  Belle and I went on a quick walk as I drank my first cup of coffee.  I threw back another and then we headed over to my parents' for Belle's weekly jaunt.

Once we ate breakfast, Belle and I were left to our own devices as my parents had a fun filled day of cleaning ahead in anticipation of their big fish fry next weekend, a family tradition that has been going on for probably twenty years.

My hopes were squashed shortly after breakfast when I noted that all five of the garden spiders I'd been photographing were gone.  Still, I persevered. Belle and I must have walked about four miles, mostly through woods.  I wasn't dressed for the occasion but the times during deer season when no one is in the woods in the land around my parents' house are few and far between.  Long story short, Belle and I were covered with beggar lice and cockle burrs when we got back to the house and I had the additional blessing of seed ticks.

While I was walking and trying not to crash through every spider web in the woods, I thought of NaNoWriMo and what I'm going to write about.  I'm still undecided and will likely remain so for a couple weeks.  I did think of reviving what I was calling Dawn of the Mutants at the time, the time travelers from a post-apocalyptic wasteland going back to the present to prevent a plague of zombies (or mutants or whatever I wind up calling them).  It could be fun.  I've never tried to write anything like it before.

That's about all the material I have at the moment.  I think I'll have a nap before I go out for groceries.

Didn't think I'd be doing that on a Friday night

The dryer buzzed.  With a great degree of annoyance, I set The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle on the Ottoman and went downstairs.  I yanked the laundry out of the dryer and put it in the basket.  I was halfway through putting it all away when the doorbell rang.

Nobody I know comes to my front door or rings my doorbell so I was immediately thinking Jehovah's Witnesses were at my door.  Odd, since it was almost full dark outside.

It wasn't the Witnesses.  It was a young couple who had been looking at the house for sale across the street.  They somehow lost their car keys.  The man, also named Dan, asked if I had a flashlight he could borrow.  I retrieved my battery operated lantern from under the kitchen sink, leashed Belle, and we went to it.

Long story short, not even the combined power of two Dan's could find the missing car key in the thicket of a lawn of the vacant house after a half hour of searching.  The other Dan called a friend of his to come pick him and his wife up but he had to come all the way from Ste. Genevieve.  In the mean time, I let them hang out at my house and let them drink my beer, since they'd already been through a lot. 

Belle made a liar out of me.  She usually doesn't want strangers petting her but she opened up to the other Dan's wife, I think her name was Serena, right away.  I'd say Belle went a long way toward putting her at ease.  The other Dan is still going to have hell to pay until his wife forgets about him losing the car keys, however.

They're planning on coming back tomorrow to look for the key.  I'm planning on going on another key hunt tomorrow morning and finding it in the first five minutes.  Further updates to follow.